It Hit Me Too...

Aiyaaa. OK. Don’t feel insulted because that was not the intention. But sometimes, we will only think thoroughly about something when it hits us right in our faces. That’s exactly what happened to me recently.

There was a confusion regarding the electricity bill. One day I woke up, feeling very warm and saw that the pillow was moist with my sweat. The air cond was off, which was weird because Amir would never turn it off when I’m still sleeping.

I checked the fan. It wouldn’t turn on. Went downstairs and checked the TV. Aiyohh, a black out on the day I planned to stay home and finish watching Criminal Minds. But then I thought, the power would come back on in an hour or so. Which it didn’t.

What would a home alone, car-less (Amir took the car to the training), sweating all over pregnant woman do on a day like that? I slept most of the day away. What else could I do? And of course, I did a little of thinking, about the future mostly. Now I know that whatever I do at the present will determine what my life will be in the future, but I never really did think about that through.

I know Amir is at his wits ends of what to do about me. He’s working hard to keep our momentum going in the business but I’m not doing my part to help him. My poor husband has to put up with episodes of flare-ups for many months now.

The time alone, without electricity at home, the other day, really put things in perspective. I want so many things in life for my family, for the baby, but the efforts do not exactly match. That’s crazy isn’t it? I need to do something fast, I told myself. I need to buck up. I need to stop playing the I’m pregnant-so-I-deserve-to-take-time-off game. I need to think less of me and more of us. I need to apologise to that genius husband of mine.

He really is a genius. Sheesh I’ve just realised I’m married to a real profiler. But then that’s another story.

Now, I need to devise a plan.