Pelan-pelan teguk...

Doktor, hospital, klinik, jururawat adalah kumpulan yang aku kurang sangat gemar. Bila demam, batuk, migrain atau stress memang kalau tak perlukan bukti MC aku takan pergi jumpa doktor. Rasa-rasanya 90% manusia tak suka jumpa doktor. Rasanyalah. Tak ada fakta untuk menyokong dakwaan.

Tapi bila dah mengandung, memang saja tempah naya la kan kalau takut pada ketakutan jumpa doktor (There’s nothing to fear but fear itself). Selasa pergi, dicucuk-cucuk. Mulanya lengan kiri, tak terbit pun darah, lepas tu yang kanan. Sakit la tapi kalau nak meraung memang tak bertempat sebab yang meraung kat situ cuma budak-budak comel, emak-emak comel tak ada.

Periksa berat, darah, pelbagai. Nurse komen badan tak nampak mcm 100kg, nampak mcm 80kg. Tak tahu nak rasa bangga, gembira, sedih, cemas atau teruja. Tapi from last check up naik 0.2 je. Masih jadi kerisauan nurse. Terima kenyataan kegemukan, azam slim lepas baby selamat.

Hari ni pergi lagi, cucuk lagi dua kali di lengan yang sama. Dah tak terasa apa dah. Alah bisa tegal biasa. Sama sebijik macam perubahan hidup. Mula-mula sakit, lama-lama, senyum je. Yang terasa bila minum segelas air gula. Terasa macam nak luah balik tapi bila nurse cakap ‘pelan-pelan ye, kalau muntah tak kira, datang balik esok, kene puasa balik, kene cucuk balik’. Gila. Nanti ada nurse lebam biji mata dicepuk emak comel. So, pelan-pelan teguk.

Lepas seksa, menggelupur cari makan. Sampai ke KLCC cari. Tapi makannya roti canai dengan teh tarik. Berbaloi sungguhla tu.

Isnin seksa lagi. Demi baby, apa saja.

p/s sebab dipuji tulis BM (Bahasa Melayu ke Malaysia, decide la oii), aku pun tunjuk skil. Tapi emosinya macam fake.

Below is one cool CV by Fall Out Boys..

The Case of A Charity Case

I didn’t get to come up on stage for the lucky draw prizes. I watched all the big prizes being given away to someone else, with disappointment. Aiyahh, let it go la Moon, you’re not a charity case anyway (hahah orang dah tak dapat punya reasoning).

The food was surprisingly good especially the masak lemak daging salai. I was the only one at the table who went for a second helping of rice, but nobody made a fuss. As with other governmental functions, the protocol was way too lengthy with every person deemed important had to be given time to make a speech. Meanwhile, my stomach was growling all the way.

I was so into the food that I didn’t pay much attention to the performers that night. Only after my appetite was satisfied did I truly listened to them. My colleagues were amazingly talented with the rendition of various songs. The company’s unofficial house band made its debut with flying colours. Bravo people!

Btw, I did get a prize, a shopping voucher in Isetan and a will writing service worth RM550. Not bad eh for ‘a leaving for freedom’ gift? (kata bukan charity case?)

p/s: Mr Tian Chua was there. He has a beautiful smile, hasn't he?

ABC

Dapat makan KFC dah semalam. Dan berjaya menghabiskan buku yang dibeli masa kat PJ sabtu hari tu. Tengah nak habiskan satu lagi buku, 'Unlimited Success' oleh Napoleon Hill. Target masa: 2 hari. Pasti boleh.

Malam ada dinner dilontarkan oleh kompeni. Aku pergi buat penutup perkhidmatan. At the same time, I'm eyeing for the lucky draw prizes, mesti naik pentas malam ni. Sambil mingle-mingle dengan orang-orang yang akan aku tinggalkan. Tak pakai glitter-glitter pun. Sebab aku yang mengandung dah mengundang tumpuan muahahahah. Aku yang dipanggil koboi mengandung, macam tak percaya, plus saiz lebih 'prominent' dari biasa.

Oh sebelum meninggalkan ruang blog, nak kongsi:

"Never, never, never give up. The biggest losers are quitters". Macam tak percaya je aku quote Donald Trump.

Ciao for now.

Loving It All...

I am craving for KFC at this moment. Nasib baik KFC, bukan daging rusa. Anyway, I’ll be having another one of my favourite, Bihun Tomyam. Amir and I had lunch with his friend at the Rak Thai Restaurant today. Knowing his food, Encik ordered rice with buttered prawn and a ‘kow’ seafood tomyam. I only had cendol (which I didn’t know ada rasa-rasa durian) since I had rice with fish curry and spicy chicken earlier. Pikir balik, menyesal tak makan lagi tadi.


After lunch, we passed by an uncle selling motivational books and DVDs. You don’t have to guess, I bought one book and Amir another. But this time I’m pretty sure that I’ll finish it before Amir even say ‘baca bagi habis’, since it’s only 77 pages thick heheh. Smart me.

Went on to the centre to meet two wonderful, new friends and talked until around 6pm. Nice, good-looking couple. The girl thought I was 28. Fuhh she made my dayla! I don’t think she was just being nice. Judging by her genuinely surprised look when I told her my age, I know she was sincere. Muahahah. Sekali-sekala aku kene up diri sendiri. But the truth is I do look younger than my age. (Please don’t waste the food you just ate, swallow it down, mak kata tak baik membazir).

OK. I’m going to chow down the bihun tomyam now. Have a nice weekend.

Kau Yang Bernama...

Beli 4 buku, yang 10 kat rumah tak habis baca lagi. Habit tak bagus, beli-beli tak baca. Rugi ilmu yang ada dalam buku tu kalau tak baca. Sori Encik, saya mesti berusaha keras untuk menghabiskannya.

Macam kanak-kanak nampak candy berwarna-warni bila aku ada dalam kedai buku. Berpinar-pinar mata. Yang 4 tu purchase online. Tajuk dan sinopsis amat menarik. Pasti isinya juga merangsang kepala otak yang semakin lembab (disarankan juga untuk orang yang rasa diri pandai sangat, bukan buku tu, tapi disarankan anda membaca, Mangga, Hai, URTV tak kira).

The Power of A Positive Woman, Success is Never Ending Failure Is Never Final, Tough Times Never Last but Tough People Do and Last Lecture. Mahu sarat kepala dan dada. Nanti bolehlah pengetahuan itu dikongsi dengan sesiapa. (Teringat pulak kata-kata Jimi Hendrix - Knowledge speaks, wisdom listens. Hehe)

Bulan ni bulan beli bahan bacaan. PNM mesti bangga ada rakyat macam aku dengan Encik Amir. Rasa-rasanya orang-orang kat PNM tu suka membaca ke. Dari pemerhatian bila makan di cafe sana, macam tak. Muka-muka lepak semua. Tapi mungkin sedang membincangkan isu-isu yang telah dibaca. Bravo! Bravo! Bravo!

Aku nak jadi macam dua orang kawan tu, yang rumah penuh buku. Nak jumpa orang, kena jumpa buku dulu. Mesti beli umah 7 bilik ni. Satu bilik buku dari lantai ke siling. Amin.

Jaga-jaga Backside Tu...

Recession is coming for sure. Don’t tell me you still believe the crap churned by the government, that it will do everything to prevent that from happening. Because the truth is those people there will save their fat, corrupted asses first and foremost. Your puny backside? Only you can save it baby.

I know most of us love to live in denial because it’s such a blissful world. Go ahead, it’s your choice, but don’t la go complaining that your life is miserable because the government isn’t doing its job well. I’d say, F*** you to your comel faces. Well, if you’d like to experience that, by all means. I’ve warned you.

You see friends, after so many years complaining about how the government neglect people like you and me, why must we believe whatever it’s being said now? WE know for sure that those people don’t really give a hoot about us, so what can we do? Ohh I know, I know, KILL OURSELVES! That’s one choice isn’t it?

Look at the reality now la. Tak habis-habis orang-orang tua bertekak pasal diri masing-masing. Siap merajuk tak moh lagi jadi ahli. Masing-masing berlumba-lumba nak jaga bontot masing-masing. Takan kita tak sedar-sedar lagi, masih lagi nak harapkan orang lain jaga bontot kita. Mana ada jalan.

Sudah-sudahlah. Dah berpuluh tahun kaut harta, bagilah orang lain pulak korupsi. Orang lain pun nak merasa.

Eeee..kecik-kecik tak moh mati, dah besar menyusahkan orang. Dah tua kerepot menyusahkan negara. Pi main guli la.


Oh yes, something else for us to ponder;

“I’ve suffered so much in the last 20 years, so much so I ran away from the public. I found solace in farming. I talked to monkeys, birds and wild boars. I asked them not to disturb my plants.” - -Tun Salleh Abas, saying that God has answered his prayers and given him a moral victory which translates to legal victory by virtue of the government wanting to heal wounds with the judiciary.


“The United States, a major destination of our export products, is facing an imminent economic recession. Inevitably, Malaysia would feel the impact of a US growth slowdown and it is expected to affect us on all aspects – from the generation of jobs to remittances to prices of basic goods.”

Source: Malaysia Business, May 1st-15th

It's Not So Bad, Is It?

I am actually scared. I have a very low threshold for pain, proven in my taking the ponstan for even the slightest indication of an oncoming migraine. To me, migraine pain is the most horrible pain a person could endure.

Friends are very careful not to talk about their moments in labour when they’re around me. Some says it all disappear when you look into the eyes of the baby that you bring into this world. I guess that’s true la.

Even at this moment I’m amazed for the gift that’s inside me, especially when I can feel it’s kicking from time to time. And I notice, it’s especially active at night and when I listen to music. Secretly I hope it’s more musically inclined like Amir, or a left hander like him, heck I hope the baby’s more like Amir than me hehe.

Hmm..maybe I should think about all the magical times we will be spending together in years to come as a family than focusing on what will it be during labour eh. Don’t want to channel negative vibes to the baby kan? Being negative is always bad, no matter to what length we try to justify it. It doesn’t do any good to you or anyone around you (in my case, the baby inside me).

Head Brain Bangs (Att: Translation needed)

This is what I don’t like. If I start reading the papers and start paying really close attention to what’s been written in the company’s website (due to the so called seniority, I TOOK MYSELF OUT from doing the routine updating of the news a year ago-yes, me the bad woman), I become mad, madder, maddest. Things said by jokers in the government will always bring my temperature to dangerous level.

Death is always a tragic thing, always. Although we may feel indifferent if death happens to someone we don’t know, or feel that they got what they deserve if the dead are some dangerous criminals, corrupted officers of the government or our biggest enemy. On a personal level death is always tragic.

But to a certain bozo, death is just another occurrence that does not deserve any more attention that what’s given to say, the bombed woman case or to the kitchen sink (I don’t know where this came from hahah) because according to him “…sejak 2004 apabila kumpulan pelatih pertama diambil hingga sekarang, sebanyak 16 kematian dilaporkan membabitkan pelatih PLKN iaitu 11 kematian ketika mengikuti latihan, manakala lima lagi kematian ketika pelatih diberikan pelepasan cuti. Daripada 11 itu, tujuh kematian kerana penyakit manakala empat lagi akibat kemalangan.

…Beliau berkata kematian itu hanya melibatkan peratusan kecil daripada pelatih PLKN yang sehingga ini sebanyak 339,186 orang."

Ya Rabbi!, People died la man, how could you say something ‘clever’ like that? When the petrol price went up they compare it to countries that have higher prices. I remember Hisham made the same comparison with other countries when the issue of illiteracy among our school children are brought up. These jokers are really into this comparing habit eh? Maybe that’s just what they do-la everywhere (don’t be surprised these are what they talk about at parliament), compare who has the biggest d***, the most mistresses, the most money swindled, the tiniest brain, and the like.

Aku dah kata, aku tak suka baca suratkhabar ni. Dan aku tak suka orang tanya2 aku pasal ‘Apa berita terbaru’. Walaupun aku kerja kat sini, tak bermakna aku ada cita2 nak jadi ahli politik kedai kopi mcm kau orang.

Malas betul aku cakap dengan manusia bodoh tak boleh diajar ni. Mengong tahap tahi ulat dalam batu!

Tomyam Kepala Orang

Kepala yang dihantukkan ke dinding akhirnya terbelah. Darah keluar membuak-buak. Kepala bercantum selepas penyakit yang membuatkan kepala berdenyut-denyut sakit keluar bersama-sama darah tadi. Hidup seperti biasa.

Bagus betul kalau dapat ubat sakit kepala yang menyeksakan macam tu. Tak perlu lagi beli pain killer banyak-banyak, ditelan banyak-banyak, sampai tidur banyak-banyak hari.

Bagus juga kalau dapat menghapuskan sebarang kesakitan, kehampaan, kekecewaan, kesengsaraan, juga melenyapkan visual atau punca sakit mata dan sakit telinga menggunakan method seperti itu. Untuk menghapuskan apa sahaja ‘sakit’ yang dialami, kita kenakan tindakan fizikal yang keputusannya, punca tadi dapat dilenyapkan.

Kalau sakit gigi, ubatnya dicabut gigi yang menyebabkan sakit itu. Kalau sakit mata biasa, dibuang mata yang sakit itu, manakala sakit mata rohaniah, marilah hapuskan punca kesakitan itu dengan menembak, memukul, menikam, atau apa sahaja asalkan puncanya tiada lagi di depan mata.

Kalau sakit telinga, sama juga caranya. Tengoklah, apabila sakit kepala berdenyut-denyut itu menyerang, aku berfikir perkara yang ekstrem dan membuat perkara yang ekstrem. Dalam kepala teringin sangat mencabut kepala manusia di sebelah aku ni yang asyik memutarkan lagu yang sama sejak aku mula masuk tadi. Macam cabut kepala sotong. Lepas tu, campakkan badan tanpa kepala tu di empat dinding di sini. Mungkin baru puas hati.

Atau aku boleh tidur di depan PC, tanpa memperdulikan orang sekitar. Masalahnya pulak lampu terang kat sini. Padamkan semua lampu dan tidur. Kalaulah office ni bapak aku yang punya, alangkah bagusnya menyalahgunakan kuasa. Kebal dan berkuasa. Macam manalah rasanya eh, menyalahgunakan kuasa? Kena interview politicians, aspiring politicians dan kerabat-kerabat dorang jugak ni.

Aduhhh, kepala aku!

It Hit Me Too...

Aiyaaa. OK. Don’t feel insulted because that was not the intention. But sometimes, we will only think thoroughly about something when it hits us right in our faces. That’s exactly what happened to me recently.

There was a confusion regarding the electricity bill. One day I woke up, feeling very warm and saw that the pillow was moist with my sweat. The air cond was off, which was weird because Amir would never turn it off when I’m still sleeping.

I checked the fan. It wouldn’t turn on. Went downstairs and checked the TV. Aiyohh, a black out on the day I planned to stay home and finish watching Criminal Minds. But then I thought, the power would come back on in an hour or so. Which it didn’t.

What would a home alone, car-less (Amir took the car to the training), sweating all over pregnant woman do on a day like that? I slept most of the day away. What else could I do? And of course, I did a little of thinking, about the future mostly. Now I know that whatever I do at the present will determine what my life will be in the future, but I never really did think about that through.

I know Amir is at his wits ends of what to do about me. He’s working hard to keep our momentum going in the business but I’m not doing my part to help him. My poor husband has to put up with episodes of flare-ups for many months now.

The time alone, without electricity at home, the other day, really put things in perspective. I want so many things in life for my family, for the baby, but the efforts do not exactly match. That’s crazy isn’t it? I need to do something fast, I told myself. I need to buck up. I need to stop playing the I’m pregnant-so-I-deserve-to-take-time-off game. I need to think less of me and more of us. I need to apologise to that genius husband of mine.

He really is a genius. Sheesh I’ve just realised I’m married to a real profiler. But then that’s another story.

Now, I need to devise a plan.

Thank God I'm Leaving...

Wisma Putra is having difficulties in finding the right candidates for the 300 or more vacancies in the ministry. This problem occurs almost everywhere nowadays. Employers are just not satisfied with the candidates to fill the positions in their companies. I share Syed Nadzri’s sentiment that our education system is the culprit in breeding mediocrity.

It’s sad to see how some graduates of Mass Communications having problems with connecting with people. How some of them feel easily intimidated in new environments, lacking the initiatives to advance in work situations, giving in to low self confidence. Some even purposely looking for jobs that don’t need them to run around meeting people, minimising contacts with the outside world.

Seeing this happening at work, really frustrate and angered me somehow. What happen to these poor souls in the varsities? Were they really learning or merely going with the flow until they get the certificates? Did they just buried themselves in books, burning the midnight oil, not making any effort to learn in social environments on or off campus?

Instead of embracing challenges, the things they learn at the varsities, turn them into a bunch of lazy cowards. I wonder if they learn anything at all. And by learning I don’t mean memorising from textbooks and lecture notes and then purging them verbatim on the examination sheets.

You tell me.

Thank You For Your Time

1. Allow people to get off from the elevator/train before rushing in.

2. Shake hands when introduced to someone, some may have reservations in hand shaking, a nod with a big smile will do.

3. Never cut queues, even though you can’t hold it any longer (you can always look for the toilet first)

4. Never cut queues just because you want to be at work on time.

5. Do not spend more than 5 minutes at the ATM machine, especially when the queue is long.

6. Do not change channels or turn off the office TV when there are people watching, just because you have finished your shift.

7. Turn off your phones when in movie theatres, conferences, meetings, seminars, or at the very least put your phones in silent mode but NEVER attempt to answer any calls inside the halls.

There are a lot more of these simple courtesies. The one I have mentioned here are the most violated, everywhere I go.

Menang Loteri Ke?

Aku ada sedikit pengalaman dengan nombor ekor. Aku tak main, tapi orang lain yang aku kenal ada juga main. Masa kecik-kecik dulu, aku tak tahu pulak nombor ekor dikelaskan sebagai judi.

Masa aku kecik, sampailah tadi aku tak tahu ada orang boleh menang duit nombor ekor ni sampai berjuta-juta. Aku tahu ada orang menang loteri di luar negara sana tu, sebab dilaporkan dalam akhbar. Rasanya di Malaysia ni, tak der digembar-gemburkan pun. Maklumlah kelasnya adalah judi.

Tadi masa makan tengah hari di kedai kakak orang Negeri Sembilan yang lauk-pauknya amatlah kena dengan selera aku seperti masak lemak cili api, terung sambal, ikan goreng, sambal belacan dan kuah lode, ada seorang pengawal keselamatan di kedai nombor ekor menceritakan tentang seorang pemain nombor ekor yang menang sebanyak RM19 juta. Rasa macam nak terkeluar anak tekak aku dengar. Gila babi banyak tu.

Pada aku, menang nombor ekor sebanyak RM35k pun dah banyak nak mampus., inikan RM19 juta. Tapi Amir ada tanya pakcik tu, ‘Kau rasa sebulan lepas tu, duit RM19 juta ada lagi tak pada dia?”. Pakcik kata “Kalau Cina, aku percaya, sebab mungkin dia buat rumah ke apa ke, kalau Melayu, aku tak rasa ada lagi.” Itu bukan jawapan aku, tapi jawapan pakcik.

Pada aku, tak kira bangsa lah, Melayu, Cina, India, Mat Salleh, kalau tak da kebijaksanaan pengurusan wang, duit RM19juta tu boleh jadi RM19 dalam masa sebulan dua. Apabila orang yang menang tu memang tak sangka dia akan menang dan memang selama ni tak pernah pegang duit lebih RM5k pada satu-satu masa, confirm sebulan lepas tu dia akan kembali pada keadaan pra-menang loteri.

Tengok orang-orang Felda yang jadi jutawan mee segera mamee. Memang segera lah kan, sekejapan duit habis. Beli kereta, memang priority, bukan sebijik, tapi 2,3 bijik. Memang bijaksana sangatlah tu. Melabur skim tah hapa-hapa, jatuh tempat kedua. Beli barang-barang kemas, tempat ketiga. Ada tak yang terpikir nak buat plastic surgery? Maybe not, hanya bini ahli politik je kot yang suka buat plastic surgery, sampai koma-koma la.

Nombor ekor ni dah jadi sebati dengan budaya orang kita. Ada yang main suka-suka (biasanya jenis ni dah banyak duit), tapi ramai yang main sebab nak duit banyak tapi nak duduk-duduk saja, hujung-hujung dapat duit selepuk. Pemalas macam babi. Babi lagi rajin. Kesian pulak aku rasa babi tu.

Emosi tinggi pulak hujung-hujung ni.

The profiler

I am diligently watching Criminal Minds seasons 1-3. Thanks to Sedi I am now looking forward to my nights at home. That is one show that kind of stuck to me even after the episodes end.

All my life, I’ve always been fascinated by crime stories, real or fiction. I should say the same goes to ghost stories but this fascination has to be put on hold for now. I love Sherlock Holmes and Agatha Christie on paper or on TV, Murder She Wrote is my all time favourite, and now it’s CSI, NCIS, and Without A Trace. Midsommer Murders is fun when I run out of programmes to watch, but I do love the village where it’s being filmed.

Now, maybe I should be a criminalist or a writer who writes about fictional crimes based on real evidence or a profiler like the Behavioural Analysis Unit team in Criminal Minds. Or be like Jane Doe, whose interest lies in solving puzzles and who is also a secret agent.

I wish I had the skill like Jason Gideon. At a glance it’s almost like he can read people’s mind. They don’t teach that in universities here, do they? No. I don’t think so. Anything that has to do with enhancing one’s mind is considered disruptive here.

I’m adding ‘To learn profiling skill’ as another one of my target.