The Grateful Entry...

Finally, I’ve come to the decision. After much mulling (exactly a year), I have come to this. A beloved friend was the first to know. She is all for it. Ought to teach ‘her’ a lesson, she said.

I was scared even to think about it at first. But the more I spent time with these wonderful people, the more I was forced to think about it. I can’t find that satisfaction anymore and the frustration with the situation, with ‘her’ and with the incompetent ‘babies’ (who want to conquer the world), are vented on the people I loved most. Is not fair, isn’t it?

The fact that Sofea, Azrul and Sham (to name a few) had made the leap to take charge of their lives, sealed the deal I was trying to make with myself. I feel lighter and more energised now. It’s a great feeling to be able to do the one thing you fear. I know this is life changing for me, changing for the better.

As much as I’m doing this for myself, my family and those who has put their trust on me, are the propeller of this decision. I know I have to inspire them to look for a better future. So I start with myself. I know it will trigger a massive change in them.

Seeing how these people take the risk and embrace the Just Do It attitude fills me so much admiration for their courage. For a person like me, who has nothing more to lose, it’s a no-brainer. I know I deserve a life way better than this. I also know, to attain a life of greatness, sacrifices have to be made.

When the first ‘idea’ came to me, I had so many doubts. I pushed it to the back of my mind and forced it to stay there for some time. A few weeks ago, the window of thoughts opened again, triggered by the book I’m reading now, “If Success Is A Game, These Are The Rules”. There’s one chapter in the book about self-truth and how to uncover your essential self and your purpose in life.

Most of us are too caught up in the race that we forget the reasons we do things. Many of us are just too poor, thus disabling us to even think of the whys. We’re more interested in surviving the days, the months, and the years.

Reading about that jolted me somehow. Now, I’m really back to reality. The reality is, not the current stagnant working life that we face, but the fact that we have the power to choose the life we want to live. Yes, that’s our real reality.

I’m thankful to Allah, for giving me the conviction that I can do this. I’m thankful to the people I’ve met, who have helped me to re-identify my essential self and my purpose. I’m also thankful to the people who have no trust in me, because without you, I will not be able to come to this decision.

The moment I let go of it was The moment I got more than I could handle The moment I jumped off of it was The moment I touched down How about no longer being masochistic How about remembering your divinity How about unabashedly bawling your eyes out How about not equating death with stopping Thank you India Thank you providence Thank you disillusionment Thank you nothingness Thank you clarity Thank you thank you silence