Feel Free To Slap Your Face Hard Three Times

Self sabotage. I know this term well. I’ve experienced it first hand. I’ve seen many of the people around me do the same. It’s self-explanatory so anyone with half a brain knows the meaning.

According to Cherie Carter-Scott in her book “If Success Is A Game, These Are The Rules’, self sabotage is the number one reason why success becomes derailed. I truly believe that with all my heart. As I said earlier, I’ve experienced it first hand.

There are many instances in my life where I am the sole reason why success, happiness and love elude me. However, to make this point clearer, I’ll choose the long battle I have with the bulge. I think this is an issue where many of us can relate.

I was born big, big bones or big frame, as they like to call it. I take after my grandfather, a towering of a man. Because of that, people had mistaken a 10 year old me as a form one student. And I mature fast, when I was in standard four, if you know what I mean.

The weight piled on the moment I started my form one year. I was the biggest gal in school, or so I thought. School was of course brutal. Yes, I had a set of friends whom I was comfortable with but even then they could not help making fun of my size. Well, I guess they were not really friends if they could do that. But I was hanging on to the last thread of acceptance, which these so called friends seemed to provide.

Because of the hatred I had towards my own body, I started to find ways to change it. I started dieting and exercising. At first it felt great, but as time passed by I got bored with the same diet and the same exercise. Although I diligently followed the routine, I didn’t lose the weight I want.

I became angry, with myself, with my friends, my family and everyone around me. I started to binge on food and returned to my couch potato days. I blamed everybody for my failure; I even blamed my slow metabolism for it.

But of course you can see where the problem lies. It’s the expectation that I have for myself. I wanted to see dramatic results, fast. It’s the same problem every one of us face: instant gratification. For example, you invest 2k today, you want 50k in the course of two weeks. Yes, ridiculous, but that’s what happened to me and that’s what happening to you too.

When you don’t get the result that you want to see in such a short time, you started to express your frustration outward by blaming everyone but yourself. What you need to do is to look inward. What have I done wrong? Have I done enough? Do I need to do this differently? What is it that I need to do differently? Unfortunately many of us prefer to put the blame on others. It’s the easy way out.

When you failed in school, was it your teachers’ fault? Or your classmates who refused to lend you their notes? Or maybe your parents for not sending you early enough to school on the day you’re supposed to take your test, causing you to panic and blanked out?

When you can’t find a job that commensurate with your qualifications, do you blame the government for not providing enough positions for people like you? Or the employers for being selective and only hire people with more experience than you? Or maybe you blame those people who applied the job before you did.

When you’re tired living hand to mouth for so many years, doing the same job when you were 24 years old, do you blame it on your employers for not raising your salary? Or the government for ignoring people like you, while serving to prosper the already rich people? Or maybe you blame your family for wanting too much and so much?

YOU and ONLY YOU are the common denominator in the three instances. YOU and ONLY YOU can make things happen for you. Stop sabotaging yourself. Every one of us is eligible for success, not just the wealthy and the privileged. The earlier you wake up from your slumber, the better. Carpe Diem baby!


p/s I still haven't won the battle. I'm fighting it one day at a time.